languages are fascinating

Now that my studies have started, it has been amusing me, how different it is for me to write reflections in Swedish compared to English that I'm used with.
Already the way I think and describe myself changes greatly between these two languages.
I understand some parts of it, for me, the English language has been what allowed me to grow as a person, whilst Swedish is burdened with trauma from my youth.

It will be an interesting and tough journey, to get comfortable with expressing myself primarily in Swedish instead of English.
I ought to ask the teachers in my life whom I respect, if they have any suggestions for me how to work on this apart from just writing and letting it get better with time, because, despite how I look at myself, I know I am capable of developing in this area.

However, I would not be me, If I wouldn't approach the problem from many fronts at the same time. Because why not? It's fun to experiment things on oneself

life?

Most of my life, I've been plagued by this reoccurring question about how to find meaning in my life.

I don't understand how to be religious, that seems like the obvious solution for many.

Having children for the sake of finding a purpose for your life seems egotistical, therefore wrong. Not to mention the fact, that I doubt anyone would want to breed with me.

If I have to come up with a meaning for it, it means there is no meaning, even if I come up with one, as it's just an arbitrary value.

Maybe this is a part of my depression, I don't know, need to find some people who are well to ask this I guess.



When I ask my peers about this, it highly confuses them, why I even think about it, however, trying to avoid a thought, doesn't mean it doesn't come back. So I better figure out a way to settle it, since it drives me insane, well I'm not sane anyway I think..