Digital boundaries

Yesterday in class we discussed our generations addictions to phones, how so many people feel like they have to be available for others 24/7, I find this fascinating, because these people do have boundaries in real life, that they upkeep and enforce. However when it comes to "digital boundaries" they don't seem to exist.

Digital boundaries, in my opinion this should be discussed much more in our society and life, be it in school and so on. I'm thinking I should bring this up in class, just so that my classmates maybe will ponder upon it.

I won't say names, that would be rude, however in the classroom the consensus seemed to be that they feel like they have to be available all the time for others, so that the person messaging them won't feel bad in case they don't get an answer instantly.

This is unfair in my opinion, because its about projecting their insecurities on others through the means of social media & technology.

I think this is fascinating though, how passive aggressiveness and other toxic social behaviors get amplified by technology.

Anyhow, I'll resume writing on this topic at some point.

me myself, and others

As I wrote earlier, I started studying this fall at university. I think its kinda hilarious, that I'm studying education, and the educational system we use is so flawed.

So far we've only had group assignments. And let me tell you, these are the worst, as my study language is Swedish, I have to learn writing in that language, and for me it's so much harder then in English.

According to theory, it should be useful for students to learn through teamwork, however it's not the case when the student in question(me) is so utterly horrible at writing.

I feel an immense pressure to not be the reason my groups assignment fails. It feels unfair, to impose this pressure on the student, who already knows, he or she is the weakest in the group.

It seems like the people who choose this type of assignments have never been the weakest in their group, otherwise they would understand what it entails.

I wish we had more solo assignments, because then I could grow in peace, without worrying that if I fail, I drag the rest with me.

Otherwise it's going as expected, I don't have any friends on the class, however I don't feel like they hold any animosity towards me either, so that's improvement.

languages are fascinating

Now that my studies have started, it has been amusing me, how different it is for me to write reflections in Swedish compared to English that I'm used with.
Already the way I think and describe myself changes greatly between these two languages.
I understand some parts of it, for me, the English language has been what allowed me to grow as a person, whilst Swedish is burdened with trauma from my youth.

It will be an interesting and tough journey, to get comfortable with expressing myself primarily in Swedish instead of English.
I ought to ask the teachers in my life whom I respect, if they have any suggestions for me how to work on this apart from just writing and letting it get better with time, because, despite how I look at myself, I know I am capable of developing in this area.

However, I would not be me, If I wouldn't approach the problem from many fronts at the same time. Because why not? It's fun to experiment things on oneself

life?

Most of my life, I've been plagued by this reoccurring question about how to find meaning in my life.

I don't understand how to be religious, that seems like the obvious solution for many.

Having children for the sake of finding a purpose for your life seems egotistical, therefore wrong. Not to mention the fact, that I doubt anyone would want to breed with me.

If I have to come up with a meaning for it, it means there is no meaning, even if I come up with one, as it's just an arbitrary value.

Maybe this is a part of my depression, I don't know, need to find some people who are well to ask this I guess.



When I ask my peers about this, it highly confuses them, why I even think about it, however, trying to avoid a thought, doesn't mean it doesn't come back. So I better figure out a way to settle it, since it drives me insane, well I'm not sane anyway I think..

start of school

today my school started;
it felt weird, been 8 years since the last time I was a new student, currently, I'm waiting for the studies to begin, can't wait to learn something new.
Sadly I heard from my tutor that sadly this program has a low amount of studies at the start. I'll have to enrol on some open-university courses to fill my schedule. Because for me the main way to keep motivation up, is a constant stream of knowledge.

According to a specped teacher I was talking to earlier; "I think your main problem will be to keep up your motivation for studies that go slow"

thoughts pre - school launch

I'm feeling a tad jittery at the moment since my school is starting in two weeks. This is the first time I'll attend school without being plagued by daily dissociations. So it will be interesting to see, how it is, to learn, without constantly forgetting what has happened during the day. Also because now I will start studying far more theoretical topics, instead of the easier things I've studied up to now.

Hopefully, I will learn some interesting things, have been mostly trying to learn physics this summer on my own so it will be a nice change to have someone teaching me instead, of me teaching myself.

During the interviews, one thing they kept asking time and time again was "Do you think you can handle the level at university even though you haven't been to gymnasiet.

I don't know, I will see, either way, it's not like we have to know things, before we've had a chance to learn it.

humans make no sense

It has happened a few times this summer; that I've found myself in arguments where I can't grasp how the other party thinks

And since these conversations have to do with peoples moral principles, the question also arises, do they have to make sense?
In short, I'd say, no. However, if one challenges someone else's personal views, then you also have to be able to present your own.

An easy example would be, how people react on someone being on the opposite side of them on political or religious views.

We have the right of having and expressing our personal opinions, however when it comes to let's say, religious,  racial, sexual identity, people become much harsher if the other person doesn't share their values.

Whilst, if it's between what ice cream is better, it's easier to remember that it's the opinion you don't agree with, not the person.

The easiest example would be people who say things like "If you're racist, it means you're an idiot, and shouldn't be allowed to voice your opinion"

Because by saying that, you show the same intolerance and prejudice as the person who's racist, yet in our society, it puts them on the moral high ground, because their opinion is the more popular.


And then the other part is this whole polarising of everything, it doesn't have to be binary, on other areas people are getting more into thinking about things in a spectrum, however when it comes to opposing views, it always tends to end up in a "we against them"

// rant over

I don't think I've ever met a person who shares my beliefs and values, and because of this, I've had to learn to accept other peoples opinions in a much wider range than many other's do.
Personally, I don't think religions are a good thing in this day and age, at least not in the way we force it upon children from an early age.
And whilst this is my view on it, it doesn't stop me from respecting a person whose religious, because for me it is completely fine, that they don't share my thoughts on everything.